Friday, January 2, 2015

Then There Was The Plot To Kill Me

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

In the previous post I mentioned we were house hunting. One of the reasons we were house hunting was because The Old Lady was knocked up. On "The Ranch" there were two houses. One built shortly after my grandparents bought the place almost a century ago and the other when my dad got married in the early 30s. Neither one had an ounce of insulation in them. One of my brothers took the second story off the big house. Even after lowering the roof it was damn near impossible to heat. The other one was the one we called The Little House. It was two rooms and would have been easier to heat, but consisted of only kitchen and bedroom and small rooms at that. And neither one had running water.

But this post is about the plot to kill me not housing. They say some women get crazy when they are pregnant and I can testify that it is true!! Something to do with hormones, I guess. During the later stages of the pregnancy The Old Lady was plotting ways to kill me. Have no idea why she wanted to kill me and probably she doesn't either. One of the ways she was thinking of killing me was by cutting the brake lines on my car. She was really pissed that her big stomach prevented her from getting under the car to cut the brake lines.

They say "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing", but in this case it was good. If she had known more about brake systems, she could have opened the hood and reached over the fender to cut the brake lines at the master cylinder.

Now if everyone followed this advice, they would all sleep alone!!!!!


Nan said...

It wasn't a plot. I didn't conspire with anyone.

Kulkuri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kulkuri said...

A plot can be singular or conspiratory.

a secret plan or scheme to accomplish some purpose, especially a hostile, unlawful, or evil purpose

Mooner Johnson said...

Kulk. What do you do when, as am I, you're the nuttiest fruitcake on store shelves?

Spent several marriages in the hopes that crazy plus crazy squared would equal some measure of sanity.

How wrong can one man be?

Fuck walmart!